The First Ten

180.8 lbs. First ten pounds can suck it!!! That combined with some kickass progressive trance serving as soundtrack to this update puts me in a serious dance zone. That reminds me, who wants to rave with me (and Ilan Bluestone) at the Blues Fest this year??? 

I'll be honest, that number surprised me this morning. I didn't think I was going to see a drop. Hell, I was afraid I'd see a gain. I'm not going to analyse the stats, I'll take it and say "Thank you". The reason why I'm surprised is I had a completely hectic week (if you followed my update last week you know why) where I could only squeeze in a spin class on Wednesday. That was the only gym workout last week. The rest was the usual running after kids. Well and a whole lot of gardening happened this weekend. Sunday was no brakes from about 7am until I crashed out at around 11pm. The backyard is looking grand though, so totally worth the effort. Plus I can't complain about the chance to soak up some beautiful sunshine and fresh air. I think this week will serve as another lesson of what happens when I eat clean but maybe don't go so hard with workouts. I knew food was more important than exercise (still important though) but now I have proof. Wait, I said I wasn't going to analyse this didn't I? Ok, I'll stop.

Food highlights this weekend. Grilled sea bream cooked up on coals with cumin, garlic and lemon juice. Need I say more? I'll take that with my spinach salad A-NY-DAY!!! Oh and to celebrate our friends' recent engagement (and for that reason only!!!) I indulged in Crème brûlée and a glass of wine from Eighteen. It was....I don't have a word, let's just say I enjoyed it. There was also an opportunity to follow that up with strawberry mouse cake.....I am proud to say....I did no such thing! Congrats to Ali and beautiful Teresa!!! 

Tomorrow I will attempt to go for a run with Kiara in my BOB. I might have to sing the Dori (Finding Nemo) song. I find myself singing it to myself when a particular run, spin, step class gets too tough to handle. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming...." Works every time! :)

Moments

It's been a while since I've written. I'm in a bit of a haze and I'll explain why. I have a few things to cover today, and I'm wondering to myself what tone will this entry take considering the events on Monday. 

Kiara gave us all a scare on Monday morning when she slipped during a dance twirl and landed head first into the aluminium trim of my coffee table. I was in the kitchen and all I recall is a thud that froze my blood. The rest was a blur of moments, moments of panic, moments of action, moments of sheer raw terror. Thankfully Hassan had just left for work so while it took him about 5 minutes to get back home, every moment felt like a lifetime. She was whisked away to emergency (thank Heavens she'd stopped bleeding by then) and I had no other choice but to stay behind with the twins and just wait. And so, one complete breakdown, 4 hours and 10 stitches later I had my baby back in my arms in one piece. Truly I have never felt so helpless, so scared and so lost all at once in my life. Worst. Day. Ever! 

So suffice to say I haven't been quite myself that Monday. But back into somewhat normal again I will report that there was no weight lost last week. 182.7 lbs was what my trusty scale reported, but wait, I think there may have been a twist to that number.....

Backing up to Saturday afternoon. Wonderful Nadia stopped by with a bouquet of stunning flowers as an early Mother's Day treat for this mama. In the midst of my gushing about how gorgeous they are and how she shouldn't have she tells me "Shut up and listen to a proposal I have for you". Right away she says "I know you're gonna say "no", BUT!". Then proceeds to tell me that a bib became available for tomorrow's Sporting Life 10k race. Yeah right, where's the punchline!?!?! No joke, this girl is serious. I give Hassan a "save me" look for which I get told off by Nad. Long story short (is it too late for that?) I agree. Sunday, 10k, no big deal. I only trained for it never. I manage to finish the race in 1 hour and 7 minutes. Shocking myself to my socks that I was able to run it. Moments of triumph, gotta love those!! 

So what I'm getting at is that maybe the weight number hasn't moved because it was the morning after the race. Maybe it was due to water intake (I drank my body weight in water on Sunday). Maybe I've built up some muscle over the course of the month. In any case, Hassan tells me I look trimmer. And if you know Hassan you know he's not one to blow smoke up your ass about anything. So, starting next weigh in day (Monday) I'll also start charting measurements. I think It'll give me a more complete picture of what's happening. 

Moments of weakness. On Monday night, I had plain nothing left in my will power reserves. I couldn't stomach anything all day, so I was famished by 9pm. So I ate. I ate garlic bread, I ate rice pudding (Hassan makes an amazing warm vanilla kind!). But my plate was pretty healthy. Chicken Diavolo plate from La Cucina with roasted potatoes and grilled veggies. While I enjoyed the bread and the rice pudding, my body was pretty much shocked by an unexpected slap of refined carbs, fat and sugar. I paid for it the next day. Back to clean eating we go. But I do cherish those moments of indulgence. 

And that pretty much covers it. I'm contemplating which races to sign up for this coming season. Look out for that update once the plan is finalised. The addiction is real! The adrenaline, the rush, the race day atmosphere, those moments are hard to leave in the dust and never return to experience them again. So I'm back....thanks Nad! 

That Kinda Day

The workout that just refuses to gel. Everyone hits those every once in a while. Tonight was my turn. I was so pumped for the run. 45 minutes was my goal. But after the first 10 I knew I wasn't going anywhere near that number. So I pushed for 30 and literally threw in the towel. Heat? End of the week exhaustion? Super long walk with the kids this morning? Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty on the treadmill. I did hit my stride right at the end when a new track came on.....you know the one....the one that gives you real goosebumps. So I ended on a high note still, and that makes me happy. 45 min run will have to wait for inspiration to hit again. 

Food today was kind of grab and go, so a little hard to keep track of what happened. I was still conscious of what went in, the only trouble is I didn't take note of how much went in. Not feeling gross or bloated or overly full though, so maybe it wasn't so bad. Speaking of bloated, it has been my daily struggle. Hell, some days I looked like I was full on 6 months pregnant. I am ready to blame sugar, fat or carbs, but I'm not sure which one was the enemy exactly. Since I've started this, I don't remember complaining once about being bloated. Another plus, I'll take it with a smile.

I've read somewhere (can't recall) that a good test for figuring out whether or not a person ate too much at night is the morning hunger test. If a person wakes up feeling hungry in the morning, then it's all clear. If on the other hand you wake up and still feel like you've just left the table, well then maybe that plate was a little too full the night before. I've had those mornings, not fun! Have been waking up starving lately, so nothing to report there. 

Another revelation today (it's that kind of day). I took a really long walk with the kids to run some errands that were within walking distance. I decided to take advantage of this summer we've been having and take everyone for fresh air as well as get my legs moving. Heat and fresh air knocked the twins right out. They were literally passed out in the last position they sat! Kiara was fresh and just chatty as ever. And it hit me, as she's going on about the beautiful day, the dandelions, her birthday, her first year of school, that I have a workout buddy for life! I forgot I was pushing a heavy stroller on rolling hills as I found myself immersed in what that little person had to say. It is so amazing to see how every day things that are quite mundane to me are squeal worthy to her. Can't wait to be fit enough to toss her into my running stroller and see where conversation takes us (though she falls asleep in that stroller so maybe it'll be a chat free run with music instead). Time will tell, I will definitely write about that. 

About tonight's entry photo. Hassan has been on a crazy roll with his new food photography project. But don't take my word for it, check out hassanzaki.com\food and see for yourself. Warning, you will get hungry looking at the pics! Funniest thing that this was possibly the easiest recipe ever to make. Seriously, check out the RECIPES page, it couldn't be easier to fix that meal up. 5 ingredients, 30 min (depending on cooking time of potatoes). But let's talk about that in the recipe shall we? 

Small Sacrifice, Big Difference

182.4 lbs. Kind of hard to believe that I'm just 2 pounds away from those first coveted 10 pounds!! Am I supposed to look different? Feel different? I've done this weight loss thing before, but I can't quite remember at which point did I or those around me start to notice the changes. I definitely feel much "cleaner" on the inside. Ever since I stopped putting junk into my body, there's been a definite noticeable difference in my energy level. If someone had told me a month ago that I could go for a few days without coffee I'd laugh, yet it has happened. I mean let's not talk crazy here, I love my morning cup of coffee, but I find that I no longer need it to survive. 

Yesterday I managed to pull on pants (which I do NOT remember buying) that were actually not from maternity wear!! With a button and a zipper!! The size you ask?? Well....the size is not as important as the feel...blah blah blah...no it was 14....holy crap on a cracker! Concentrating on positive here though.....zipper!! I figure that will be my "success measuring" pair of pants. Stay tuned for that "swimming in what used to be snug" photo op! 

Another drastic change has been happening in my activity levels. I was expecting to start walking more with the kids now that the weather is beautiful out, and I do, a lot. But what's pleasantly surprising is that I haven't missed a day of a hard workout in about a week. I think I'll need one tomorrow though, days off are important. Although, if tomorrow is anything like today I might just need that kick in the ass sweat session to "unwind". That's all I have these days since wine is no longer a buddy of mine (more of a distant acquaintance) on whom I used to rely to chill out. That's another indulgence of mine that I've almost completely cut out......again, let's not talk crazy, it's not a breakup, it's a break :). 

So I think I'll stick to whatever I'm doing so far. It's been working pretty well. To be more specific: Workout like crazy, eat super clean (with an occasional cheat treat), walk (a lot) while pushing three kids in the stroller, no drinking calories, no mindless snacking. no (or very little) sugar and refined carbs. I think that summarises it.

Speaking of eating super clean, that wonderful tabouleh (with extra lemon just for Hani) recipe is coming up. I promise, you are this much closer to actually enjoying it rather than me telling you how amazing it is. Watch this space...

Back in the Saddle

186.3 lbs. Not great but I'll take it. It's a loss so I can't really complain considering the week we had. 

Quick update. This week is going super well. Hit step class yesterday and taught my first spin class since bedrest last April. Cloud nine!!!! The happiness I feel when I'm turning those pedals is silly. I love it! Between those two classes legs are feeling the fatigue. Spin class tomorrow night to look forward to. Hopefully it will be just as dynamite as today's was. So exercise is back on track.

Food has been going well too. Since starting my clean eating habits I've had to get a lot more creative in the kitchen. I love arugula but man how much arugula can a girl eat for two weeks. So when Hassan noticed that I was picking my salad with the fork rather than eating it I knew I had to come up with a plan. So yesterday I roasted up a whole head of cabbage with carrots and mushrooms and today I made a salad that is quite possibly the most delicious salad I've ever eaten (thank you Nadia). Will be trying some "unstuffed" cabbage rolls with ground turkey later in the week for another healthy dinner fix. Absolutely no cheating so far this week.

 Time to rest those legs. Good night.  

Rollin wit it

There will be stellar weeks, good weeks, OK weeks and just plain WTF weeks. I think mine is falling close to the last option. It started out awesome (Tuesday post!) and then Nora woke us up on Tuesday night burning up and so sad. Sick kid, there's honestly no worst feeling in the world than when the well being of your little kiddo is out of your hands. Night one, 2 hours of choppy sleep. Wednesday, thank goodness Hassan took a day off otherwise.....I don't even know but thankfully I didn't have to find out. The exhaustion is real, the delirious state is no freakin joke, so no matter what was at the end of that finish line on Wednesday night (chocolate cake?!?!?!) I would not be crawling across to get it. Wednesday night was not much better, maybe 3 hours of choppy sleep and this time around no hubs to bail me out....he went to work....so he could get some sleep in the car after lunch (can you blame him!?!?! :) ) So although the rest of the week did improve, the energy level is at the all time low.

So other than yoga on Monday and that killer cycling session on Tuesday, I have nothing to add to my workout list. Awaiting that cycling session tomorrow. With that in mind, I am not entirely sure how much weight I will have dropped by the end of the week. It wouldn't surprise me if none at all, but hey, food's been good so no guilt there. In fact I've been so faithful to my diet that this morning, when the lady at Starbucks sold me a blueberry muffin through no fault of my own (hehe) I found it over-the-top sweet. And I've only been sugar free (well sugar-less-than-usual) for 2 weeks. Incredible how quickly body readjusts. Kiara polished off the rest of that muffin, because truly it felt like dessert rather than breakfast (it was gooooooood though). 

The pic for today's entry did not come easy. Maybe this whole week is just cursed. Hassan struggled and struggled with that damn Caprese salad (YUM!!!!).  If you know Hassan, you know that words "I'm about to give up" don't come easy or very often. I both love and hate him for that stubbornness (he's currently piping in "It's called perseverance"). I however am as impressed as ever with the final result. I am talking about the photograph, although the salad was delicious as well.  

Today was busy/hectic/crazed up with more things to do on top of the usual weekend frenzy, so by 8pm as Hassan asked me if he should fix me up a salad to go with shrimp I looked at him and said "Screw it, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm impatient!" so rice it was. 

Ah well, at the end of it, I've been in this "mom game" long enough to learn to just go with what life gives you........I'm not great at it, but I hear practice makes perfect :)

Sweat is Sexy

Today! Today is the first day I remembered why I was once addicted to exercise. The high is indescribable. It took a solid week to get to that point where I'm no longer in misery, I'm in a grind! The difference? Misery - "God I hate this, why the crap did I sit my ass down on this bike??" Grind - "God I hate this, but hell will freeze over before I back off that load!! Grrrrrr"

The latter are the kind of thoughts going through my head as I'm pedaling away (while staying in one place) tonight. I love the feeling when that drop of sweat is forming on my chin. To me, this is the second gear, the confirmation that I'm working hard. So I can't help but break into a grin, making that drop fall, feeling almost silly at how victorious it makes me feel.  

Today I've decided that it's time to go back to teaching spin at Goodlife. If you're in Hazeldean area on Tuesday April 28th at 6:30pm and Wednesday April 29th at 7:30pm you will get to sweat it out with yours truly! And you all know that sweat is sexy so why wouldn't you come spin with me? As I put it out there that I'm available for subbing for other instructors I've gotten offers! Exciting, but scary. Am I ready? Am I fit enough? Do I still have the stamina to motivate my class as I'm working up that sexy sweat myself? As I'm mulling those questions over I get an email from my beautiful Nadia saying "You realise it's a new release next week right?" Uhm...no I did not realise that.....I did not realise that at all!! But at this point, I'm thinking what the hell, gotta come back to this someday, might as well be the new set of music! Another plus is that I don't have to think about putting my own mix together, just learn the new tracks! I don't even wanna know how intrigued you are to find out if I will rise to the occasion! Well....now you just have to come to my class so you can see it for yourself :) 

Exciting food adventures today? I made tabouleh for the first time. How can a salad be so delicious!?!?!?! I went back for seconds in a happy guilt free spirit! One more recipe to definitely share. 

Ok, good night, it's way too late but I just had to share because this is how I am feeling right now, this is how I'm feeling today! 

Shabang!!!

187 lbs. It's a small victory that weighs 3.5 pounds but I did a happy dance as I hopped off the scale this morning. I like that it's more than my goal, I was shooting for 2 pounds. However I am happy that it's not 10 pounds, because then I would have questioned my methods. In this race, slow and steady will win it. I'm in this for at least 6 months, so not rushing, just as long as the numbers are decreasing I'm good.  I'm willing to bet that the last pound alone came from that "stroll" with Jennie downtown! Damn that girl can walk! And those three kids are heavy!!! And that uphill....well I think I've painted the picture. 

As I am writing this, my ever supporting husband is baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies with Kiara. The house smells phenomenal. It's really hard to hate him though, they look so darn adorable making cookie dough balls. Good thing I had my chocolate fix this evening in a form of a dark chocolate square. No damage impeding. 

Breakfast smoothie this morning was banana peanut butter. It was great! Another one to add to my recipe book. Speaking of recipe book a recipe page to be added to this website is in the works. I'm working with Hassan so that he can take pictures of the recipes. So, watch this space...

If you're interested to see what my approximate meal plan looks like for this week, find it jotted down below. If you're not, well I guess I'll see you back here soon...off for some om

---

Monday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack fruit mix 
         Lunch veggies+shrimp 
         Snack rest of the smoothie
         Dinner green beans+veal in tomato sauce + quinoa. Square of dark chocolate for dessert  
        Exercise yoga 
Tuesday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack apple slices with peanut butter
         Lunch cereal with bananas 
         Snack dried fruit  
         Dinner grilled stuff with tabouleh  
        Exercise cycle 
Wednesday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack pita with hummus  
         Lunch turkey+cheese sammy+soup
         Snack granola with a glass of milk 
         Dinner fish with arugula salad 
        Exercise strength 
Thursday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack cheese and crackers 
         Lunch avocado tuna melt with salad
         Snack snap peas   
         Dinner grilled stuff with soup 
        Exercise run 
Friday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack pears with peanut butter 
         Lunch grilled chicken kale salad 
         Snack nuts 
         Dinner out 
        Exercise stretch + easy walk 

Changes

I realise it's been a couple of days, but I gotta tell you, in my house it's either blog or exercise. So I chose to exercise, otherwise I wouldn't have anything to blog about. Tonight I'm writing a little update on the week so far. Body is super sore, which is an awesome indication that I've beaten it up and broken it in just a touch. It's a start, which is always the hardest part.  

Changes - the ones that I've made are pretty drastic and they happened quite abruptly. However, the reaction from my mind and body is very positive. My friend Jennie dropped in for a visit and as we're chatting/chasing after kids she says "You look like you have more energy!" And it just hit me.....I've only had one cup of coffee today and yet I'm feeling perky and refreshed. What??

Changes - sugar became virtually non-existent in my diet. Weird thing....I don't miss it! Well....I don't miss it much. I'll always have a sweet tooth. Another thing I've said "so long" to is refined carbs. This was a tricky one. I had to dig deep into my cupboards and deeper still  into my creative reserves figuring out what to add as a side to my grilled chicken. Choices so far (yummy choices at that): quinoa, red split lentils, salad, mixed steamed veggies and an awesome potato/cauliflower/broccoli/carrot mash (courtesy of Hassan). Side note - he was making baby food! It was delicious! Tonight was a special treat of take out Thai food, so I had rice.....worth it! 

Changes - I've finally jumped on the smoothie bandwagon. I know I'm super late to the party, but hey, at least I showed up and catching up on the ongoing fun. Made this super delicious berry breakfast smoothie (recipe coming very soon). It kept me going all morning. Had another helping as the kids were playing at the park and that got me right through to my afternoon snack. I'm not going to make skipping meals a habit, however, it's nice to know that on days like today (completely hectic in a wonderful "warm summer day" way) I can rely on this magic potion. What I will make a habit is making those quick easy amazing mixes to drink in the car on the way to work. Who knows, caffeine may just become a distant memory (HA! yeah ok easy there).

My photographer (Hassan Zaki) is finally getting his priorities straight and actually doing what he was hired to do! I should demand my deposit back though, such delay is unacceptable ;) Look out for more off the hook photo plugs throughout, but alas, as always, there that "notice" but I digress...

Changes - in my life, every spare second is a precious second. So we've learnt to be pretty darn efficient with what little time we get. As Kiara was kicking butt in karate class I jotted down next week's meal plan. It's a meal plan, grocery list and exercise schedule in one memo (see? efficient!). 

Changes - regarding moving my ass....not literally. In addition to what I've mentioned in my previous post I've added a 20 min run. I had to break it down into 10 min run 5 min walk 10 min run chunks. It resulted in extremely sore obliques. As well as a strength training session. So with two more days till the end of the week I've got the exercise part of the plan covered. Giving the body a small break tonight from the shock. 

And so, as this week expires, I am thinking "Dammit, that scale had better move come Monday morning!"  

Setting Goals

190.5 lb. Feeling strangely unaffected by that number. Simply looks like it's a long road ahead. Gotta find my Fitbit. Week one is officially underway. My aim is to drop 1.5 to 2 pounds per week. Goal weight likely will fall somewhere between 135 and 140 lbs. I'm not chasing a number really but rather a "feel good" vibe. Here's the scoop so far.

Exercise: Walking/running/chasing after kids. Yup, I'm counting that. My neighbour Melissa saw today what happens when the twins crawl in two different directions...outside....fast (Kenzie with a mouthful of grass), while Kiara is riding a bike....heading for the street. 30 min spin on my bike that left me jelly-legged. Gotta tune my bike, it's squeaky (yes it's been a while)! 

Food: It's day 2 today and I've been "good". No major cheating other than finishing up some buttery toast (and some other little dinner leftovers) off Kiara's plate (Come on! it's a waste! :) ). In my defence, it was 21 grain toast. I'll see next week if I'll have to put an end to that too. For all of you nerds out there I'm using this week as a feedback loop situation. I evaluate at the end and adjust for next week. I also cut out sugar and milk out of my tea and coffee. Ok fine, I ran out of the low fat milk today so I indulged in whole in my cereal this morning. Guilt took over though, so let's just say that cereal was rather crunchy :).  

Doesn't look like I'll be able to get my ass in gear for a workout this evening. Tomorrow's plan is a run outside. When I say a run though, I'm using the term loosely. F bombs will be dropped. Ok, gotta catch up on some TV shows now.... 

P.S. Photo for the entry pending.....apparently my photographer needs a "couple of days" lead time *eye roll*. Waiting for that inspiration then....you can't rush art. 

Frustration

Frustration..........so sick of frustration every time I get dressed. It doesn't even have to be dressed up to go out. Just a simple day out with the family. Hassan can hear the "AUGGHHHHH!!!!! why doesn't anything freakin FIT!!!!" all the way from downstairs. "Because you've had three kids!!!" he yells back. This usually calms things down just a touch as I find a clean pair of those good old yoga pants and a loose hoody to throw on. 

It's true. My body has been through two (well three, but that's a story for another time) pregnancies that brought three of the cutest monkeys into my life. So as I sigh once again looking in the mirror I know that it was worth the belly that currently looks like a deflated clown balloon. 

As Kenzie and Nora turn 9 months and those rays of sunshine start to warm up our home I think that maybe it's time to stop crying and start acting. I don't think that the line "Give yourself a break you just had twins" will fly any longer. After all, "just" was 9 months ago. And really, I've run out of excuses at this point. Metformin (my insulin regulating drug) has been resumed, it's sunny and warm. Kids are older (well sort of). The only thing that's really left is pure constant exhaustion, but the way I figure, it's going to be there no matter what for the next little while. Am I prepared to wait that much longer? Well....I doubt you'd be reading this if I were. So, today, no more excuses.

Check back tomorrow for the first leap of faith and a clear cut reality check. Weigh in, starting point. Facing that number that stares back at you so mercilessly on that scale (which I guarantee I will want to break into million pieces on more than one occasion). Until then.....