Recipe Of the Month - January

Well it’s appropriate to end the first month of 2019 with a first blog on what I am hoping will turn into a monthly affair….Recipe of the Month. I’ve been thinking of clever ways to advertise Hassan’s Food Photography business, so I thought, why not actually try a new healthy recipe and have him photograph it at his studio.

Today’s Recipe I am trying is the Bon Appetit’s Raw and Roasted Dinner Salad. Here’s the link to the recipe: https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/raw-and-roasted-dinner-salad

I (read Hassan) couldn’t (read couldn’t bother) find a delicata squash (in all fairness its season is September), so I ended up using a regular butternut (peeled) squash. Everything else went according to plan.

I am in a constant struggle to eat healthier, to be more active, to drop those pounds I haven’t been able to drop since having my kids. It’s tough to balance everything, and I tend to go into the “all or nothing” cycle a lot (thanks for pointing that out to me, husband). So I am working on a new strategy that “every little bit helps” and just because I snapped and had a side of french fries for lunch, that doesn’t negate my entire day of otherwise healthy eating. Basically, not all is lost!

Another struggle is that I often want to try out a new healthy recipe. If you know my blog, you probably heard me mention that Hassan doesn’t eat salads (yes, the struggle is real!). That means that unless I have friends over who will help me eat that salad…I don’t have the time/will/energy to cook a second meal just for myself.

So with this recipe of the month launch, I am hoping to give Hassan some creative challenges and spoil myself with a new healthy recipe at least once a month!

Here are the results of our labour

Check out Hassan’s food photography portfolio.

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Do you have a suggestion you’d like me to try out next month? Shout it out in the comments!

Until then…

Day 1....or....30 min

The hardest part is taking that first step. I hear it everywhere. Well today is Day 1 of a new program. The program other than the one I'm fully addicted to (I'm looking at you Les Mills RPM). This time though I'm the one being sergeant drilled. 

I'd be hard pressed to find one person out there not familiar with the brutality that is P90X. It is a phenomenal program with one downside. No the downside is not that it's "too damn hard". That's not a good enough reason. My reason is simple....time....how to find an hour a day (which is more or less uninterrupted) to commit to a 90 day long program. I tried a few times, it's just not possible. It IS however, hard to find a reason not to do a program that promises results in 30 min a day. Now this has Anna written all over it. From what I've researched, it does not look like a diluted version of the original P90X but rather her beefed up little sister. In fact, Hassan wanted to try an "easy" stretch workout from the program. It's probably worth mentioning that it is an optional workout on a Rest Day of the program. Well...let's just say I needed a second shower of the day. Dynamix is anything but "easy stretch". If that's the window into my next 90 days... pray for me! Because let's just be honest, I'll be too broken to get down on my knees to pray.  

Yes yes, I fully realise (now) that this program first came out in 2013. I have been living in a box pregnant with twins at that time. So until now...how was I to know?? Out of the necessity came research. We have been struggling through P90X's Plyometrics on random days but haven't found anything that we could really commit to. Well, I think this might be it. It checks all of the boxes. 

30 min - at home - equipment that I already have - 30 min - challenging (ok really freakin impossible at times) - oh and it's 30 min!!! I think I may have mentioned that somewhere...anyway. 

Ok truth time:

Starting weight: 175.4 lbs. Not awful. If you go to my first or second blog entry you'll find out what my starting weight was...see...not awful right?? :)

Body Fat 32.5% (Ouch!) 

Measurements (in inches): Chest: 40 Waist: 40 Hips: 40 (What the hell??? I'm a rectangle!!!) Right Thigh: 21 Left Thigh: 21 Right Arm: 11 Left Arm: 11

And so begins the winding road to success (see the picture makes sense right??). Totally Hassan's idea by the way! 

Well...off we go then....P90X3, Total Synergistics Day 1....30 min....Watch this space for regular updates on exercise and diet and monthly updates on progress. Until then...

(goes off to pray while she still can)

Fear of the Unknown

You're fearless! You'll do well! My friend Alain tells me. He's talking about mountain biking. Buying a mountain bike, and I'm talking not an entry-level mountain bike, having been on trails a total of zero (!!!) times is borderline bananas!! And yet, here I am, all set to pick up my brand new first full suspension MTB! My soul sings YAY and my feet do a happy dance. All due to the sheer excitement of buying a bike!! My brain is saying "What are you thinking??" Maybe I'm not thinking, maybe I'm diving in. Sometimes the longer you look down the cliff doing risk analysis the less likely you are to jump. I love being on a bike, I love being outdoors, so really, how can that add up to a bad experience right?? Right?? 

And now we wait for spring. We're in Canada....so we pray to the Gods of Spring in hopes that we can muddy up those new bikes come May. I additionally pray that I will love it as much as I love my road bike! Hassan is convinced that I will not look back....well maybe once or twice to make sure he's keeping up with me! ;)

Although it may seem like I'm fearless, I actually have a pretty strong case of fear of the unknown. I don't know, maybe I hide it well. But for the purposes of full disclosure I must confess that if it weren't for my incredible, strong, supportive, encouraging friends and hubby I wouldn't try half the things I have gotten myself into (or about to get myself into). 

Nadia (hey sister from another mister!) on multiple occasions believed that I can accomplish something I wouldn't even consider trying. Become a spin instructor? Sure! Run a 10k with no training? Noooo problem! So over the years I have learnt to say "ok, what the hell", shut my eyes (but not my mouth so much) and jump off the cliff. 

So here are our new beauties. Cannondale with a slick Lefty fork for yours truly. An unbelievably gorgeous Norco for Hassan. Hey! How come he gets the dropper post!?? Alain even used his incredible powers of persuasion and convinced Hassan (ok and me) to go tubeless!

Here's my realisation though....where the hell are all the girls?? This is Department of Electrical Engineering all over again! So far, the only interactions I have had with women and mountain biking is "Oh yeah? You mountain bike? (uhm....no...but....) my husband/boyfriend/brother does that!!" "Oh cool!! How about you!??" I ask with hope?? So far....nothing. I gotta get some girls stoked for MTB! 

For now though, instead of tearing up (or down?) the trails we will have to settle for getting a perfect photo of our new bikes. Hassan...you're up! Until then...

Bumpy Road to Success

That cycle again. Frustration, impatience, despair, determination, hard work, success. Over the past two weeks I've gone through all of those. Luckily, success hit today! I've been working out like crazy and eating super well as a result of witnessing the scale climb up to 182 pounds! OUCH!. I got the reward......a drop in weight (back to 178.7), but alas, it also came with a helping of a hip injury! Silver lining, I could still spin my ass off, so I still got workouts in Monday through today. Resting that hip for the rest of the week. My game plan is proper stretching, icing the inflamed area, popping Advil, and resting resting resting! I will be throwing a few prayers in there as well, hoping for a swift and unscathed recovery. Oh and my right knee feels like it's going to snap out.  Yup, I really did a number on my body once I freaked out about gaining weight again.  Anyway, more on Monday as I attempt to get out for my lunch run. 

Colour Vibe race over the weekend!!! When I say race though, I'm using the term rather loosely. More like 2000 people getting together with friends, dressing up in fun outfits and running/walking/skipping/twirling their way though a 5k course while being dredged in all kinds of colours. The ground was very uneven, resembling trail running. While I wasn't worried about the distance of the race, the uneven ground may have contributed to my hip injury. Nevertheless, fun times were had! Selfie says it all. 

Last weekend we took Mum and Dad shopping. Hassan has had enough of my maternity wear and pretty much put forward the ultimatum. We're not leaving here until you buy 2 pairs of jeans! Reluctantly I agreed. Surprisingly I didn't do too badly, ending up with two pairs of jeans (as was agreed on) and actually liking the way they fit! 

This whole week has been awesome diet-wise. Just today I was craving a little comfort food. Got a little sick of cold raw crunch of a salad. So had leftover pizza for lunch and a white bun with butter with my soup. As I'm typing this I'm just polishing off a handful of chips left on the bottom of the bag. Just enough to get my crunchy salty fix, but that's it! Melon for dessert and no carbs for dinner. That reminds me, a new recipe is in the works. I totally felt like whipping something up in the kitchen, following nothing but my soul. I'll tell ya....my soul led me to a good place. Dinner was awesome! Pan fried shrimp with onions, garlic and spices, glazed carrots (OK with a bit of butter, but come on, it's carrots!), yup the carrots from the picture.  Little parchment paper baked pouches of zucchini with tomatoes, spiced with ginger, garlic and a touch of olive oil. At the very end of baking those I added a touch of old cheddar cheese on top. Yup, dinner was a success. I'll slap together that recipe and add it on. Oh and I also made avocado sauce punched up with green cilantro, lemon juice and spices. It's coming, I promise. Maybe even right after I'm finished typing this, which at this point I think I am. Back on the grind tomorrow. Since I'm off running for the week, I'll have to get my fitness fix from my bike. Bring on loud music and movies to the basement. Oh and another bit of news (I promise it's the last one!) Hassan and I are committing to 100 crunches a day. It doesn't matter when we throw them in but in sets of at least 20s we'll have to get there! As always, I'll keep you posted. Until then...

Just Keep Swimming

Man this is tough! Losing weight sucks! This battle sucks! Working your ass off and not seeing a change....SUCKS!! I'm stepping on the scale tomorrow, so I'll report the number soon. Feeling discouraged these days though. I'm not looking for pity.....you know me...I'm not that girl. I've set out to share this journey in this blog. So why hide and pretend I've got it all peachy and figured out while cruising through every pound like it's a joy ride. It ain't! It sucks! Oh wait I think I've mentioned that already! Sucks!

So here we go again with Dory. Just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming swimming swimming! I mean....do I have a choice? Nah not really. I want to get to healthy weight. For me, for my kids, maybe even for my husband...although according to him he sees beyond the "baby belly". Well that makes one of us :).  

I'm finding it tough to hit my stride in healthy eating again. I think I did well this week though. I've bumped my meds back up. Without them this whole process is an exercise in futility. Until today, when mumsy made Russian stuffed pies. Come on Mother! Nobody is this strong! Well not me anyway. Frig she even asked me if I wanted a salad. Yeah sure, I'll stuff my face with lettuce while the rest of you feast on the fried bready doughy salty potatoey goodness. See? I didn't think so either. 

Ok enough with the weaknesses. Here's the good news. I found my fitbit!!! This little gadget is so helpful. I've run 2 times last week, pounding out 5k with every run. Taught my regular 2 spin classes. Missed my Friday run to have lunch with my co-workers. And other than my walking goals on weekends (12,703 steps today so far), I can't fathom getting out for official exercise. My friend Ahmed has been inviting me to take part in these "friendly" (yeah right) fitbit competitions "Who can take the most steps in work week", "Who can take the most steps in any given weekend". He's pretty much unstoppable though, this guy. Mad props for getting me super motivated to one day beat his ass at his own game! Yeah that's right, I know you're reading this Ahmed! About the fitbit though, I find myself parking at the far spot and walking to the further bathroom at work to get my 10,000 steps-a-day goal. Hell, a few nights ago, when it told me I was about 50 steps short of my daily goal at 10:30pm I went right back downstairs and just paced until that piece of......fitbit buzzed happily around my wrist!! So in short, it works! Plus it tracks my runs with pace and splits! Loving my fitbit! Trying to convince Hassan to get one (unsuccessfully so far). Then it'll be going down for real!! 

Colour Vibe Ottawa run is next weekend!! We got a team together to run a 5k race while being dredged in colour by colour cannons at every 1km or something in that area! Party mode on!!! I'll most likely be answering questions about my colour streaked face at the office the following Monday! Hope the colour washes off so I can look at least semi-office-ready! Hassan is running with us, so he won't be the photographer for this. But I'll share the phone snapshot of our happy colourful faces! 

I realise that in my last post I said this one will be about the twins' first birthday party. This entry is getting quite long though. Serves me right for not blogging more frequently. I'll remedy that, hopefully soon! I say that while planning a new addition to this webpage. With my decks dusted off and looking ready to spin I'm back in the music mixing game so hopefully next week I'll start my very own podcast. It will be available for your speakers' pleasure on a (fingers crossed) monthly basis. Plus we haven't even had time to sort through pictures from the party still. So this update is coming. It's a little timely, but it's on the way. 

Well I have been writing this post over two evenings. Feeling a little less "blah" and a little more "oumph". Tonight I got a new rival in the fitbit game. That girl's out to get me, so I'm planning an afternoon run on a spin day. Might be a "pass out on the couch at 8:30pm" kinda night.  But I have to up my fitness game if I am ever to realise my goals of running to and from the office (~12k each way), riding 2016 Rideau Lakes Tour and finishing my first Ironman 70.3. Big dreams, small steps. With that, I'm calling it an night with a new TV show to watch and some pink lemonade tea (captured by Hassan Zaki for Foodoshoot).

P.S. Check out Hassan's new business venue. Professional food photography. www.foodoshoot.ca   

Back at it

Week 2 of back to work. Using the fact that my lunch buddy and work associate Harpreet is away today and tapping out a quick update over lunch.

It's been so very busy with the amount of information being thrown at me and having to pretty much hit the ground running. As a result I don't have time to stop and cry about how much I miss my kids. So far though I've been greeted with happy babies and a clean kitchen. I'm thinking we got ourselves a winner with the nanny! I've also been pleasantly surprised by quick progress at work. I'm getting back into swing of things and find myself enjoying the work. So on the work front and childcare front I couldn't be happier!

I'm also picking up where I left off on my quest to get healthy and fit and eat clean. Back to eating lots of fruits and vegetables. Getting my fullness from lean protein and dropping refined carbs and sugar. As always sugar is the hardest habit to kick. I have such a sweet tooth. That and my obsession with bread. Ah well.....it's a short term sacrifice I have to make. After I've reached my goal weight I imagine I'll be a little less strict and allow myself to indulge ever so often. So far even though the progress has slowed down a bit due to Ramadan and kids' birthdays and Hassan's birthday  (fish and chips!!! Serious cheating). I've managed not to gain and even lose 2 pounds bringing me to 176.1 lbs.

This week has been going well so far. I've stolen tastes of the leftover birthday cake and chugged an ice tea for lunch today but most of my diet has been good! I was planning on going running on Monday but ended up getting to work late because of kids' doctor's appointment so had to skip that. But taught spin last night. The mix I picked was completely crazy. I was doubting my own abilities to get through it let alone push my people to the finish. We managed though....albeit with a few dirty looks shot my way  (in a good way though!!!). Not changing that mix for tonight's class either. Bring it!! Friday is a quick vacation day so I'll run first thing in the morning and then......Calypso!!! YAY for summer! 

P.S. Twins turned one!!!!! Completely unbelievable how big they are. Walking and shrieking! Next post is about their birthday party. Cake and everything! Until then..... 

P.P.S. No pic this time round. Hassan hasn't been able to get anything new thrown together. New project is a-brewing....watch this space 

Control

I guess I should mention that I'm holding steady at 178 lbs. I'm not expecting it to be moving anywhere on the scale in the next 3 weeks or so. It's Ramadan time. That means rules of eating a salad for dinner no longer apply. I'm getting a serious kick out of indulging in all sorts of sweets for this fleeting month. Hassan's homemade biscotti (welllll almost homemade anyway), pecan pie, coconut cream pie.....shall I go on or have I gotten my point across? Suffice to say that other than my two scheduled spin classes I do not get out for any additional exercise. In a couple of weeks though, I'm going back to work, so lunch time runs are in my very near future. It's actually the most exciting part about going back to the office! I get to run! I get to put on my headphones, blast some blood pumping tunes and pound the pavement! I can't wait! 

Hassan explaining Ramadan to Kiara : "No I can't have a bite, it's Ramadan and I'm fasting. That means I'm hungry, I see food but I don't eat it. That's how we practice control like in your karate class." She ponders that statement and says: "I practice control too, when I see food, I eat it!!" :) I guess maybe it's a touch early to grasp the concept of fasting.

On top of everything else, our dishwasher broke! So it's pretty clear that kitchen has become the main focus. We're so scared of drowning in dirty dishes that we're vigilant about doing them all the time. As a result, the rest of the house has been looking like a tornado passed through it. Funny how that doesn't freak me out any longer. It is what it is. I'm learning to prioritise and it's been working well. Pile of clean laundry can wait (hey at least it's washed). We'll clean up what we can at the end of the day but dishes must be done. Come on July 7th!! 

As I've mentioned earlier I'm returning back to work in two weeks. It feels like it's been forever, but also like it just flew by. All of a sudden the twins are walking and Kiara is getting ready and excited for school in September! So many changes are coming in the next few weeks/months. 

I've gotten over my denial and finally bought some new clothes. Can't live in maternity wear and yoga gear anymore!  I have faith that I will fit into my old clothes eventually, but for now I need to look presentable for the office. 

Once we celebrate the twins' 1st birthday I will be right back at it! Working hard and eating well. Until then, I'll be just cruising by, doing what I can. My main focus is to not gain any weight and if I end up losing, well that's a wonderful plus. It's going in the right direction. So with a few bumps and bruises, I'm going the right way. 

Here's my progress so far:

Moving Backwards

183.4 lbs. This is the kind of post I was hoping not to write. And even though I would like to take a few minutes of my life to mope about it, I think I'll pass and try (really really hard) to focus on the positive. Such as the fact that I was wearing size 12 shorts yesterday and was actually comfortable in them. So small victories and baby steps is what I am thinking. it seems high though, 3.5 lbs in one week? Something must be off right? Right??? Hassan made a helpful suggestion to check my progress a couple of times during the week. The benefits are two fold. Firstly, if I truly did gain those pounds back, had I stepped on the scale during the week I would have seen them creep up. Secondly, it would give me an indication whether or not the number I report on Monday is a real number or some sort of an outlier that was caused by excess water the night before. In any case, it is what it is this week. 

Here's where I'm struggling. Food. I can't make my family (and by my family I mean Hassan....my kids will eat anything!!) change their diet for my sake. Don't get me wrong and go hating my dear husband! He's been supporting me and making sure I am stocked with fruits and veggies and he's always on a lookout for a healthy snack for me. He means well anyway, he bought whole grain bagels for my benefit (they turned out to be everything bagels, but his thought was appreciated immensely). But when I am cooking dinner, and running late (almost daily) I really don't have it in me, time or effort - wise to come up with an extra side that is healthy solely for me. I know, I tried it in the first couple of weeks and it was just pushing dinner time even later. And late dinner means late bed time, which means, cranky kids, resulting in irritated parents. Plus the later Kiara gets tucked in, the less down time we get before we are unable to keep our eyes open.

Getting out to exercise has been tough as well. For me to be able to work out after Hassan gets home I have to have a plan for dinner. Be it a plan for Hassan to make dinner or making it myself, the kids can't wait when they are hungry. And we do everything in our power to make sure they don't get to that stage where they are actually hungry. Hassan calls it "Hunger Prevention Program" because really  "I love dealing with my hungry tired cranky kids" said no one ever! So to that end, I have to have my workout gear on the second he steps in the door and then I'm out earlier, back earlier and everyone (hopefully) is happy. If I wait until after everyone is tucked in, that's just crazy talk. So to summarise. the kids call the shots. Not that it's a surprise. Once I go back to work, which is really really really soon, I'll be able to get out for lunch time workouts and not have to worry about it come evening. Also, I am so stealing Nadia's idea for afternoon snacking! Pack a head a broccoli! Pick all afternoon, guilt free!! 

So doing what I can and hoping it's enough until I am back to work and then re-evaluating the routine and trying it again. Time will tell...meanwhile I'll keep an eye on those numbers this week and post short updates throughout as much as I can. Or one big weekly update as It's been the case. Good night! :)

One For The Books

Hello again. Been a while hasn't it!? Now that the dust of Kiara's 4th birthday celebration has settled I am back at it once more. I took a bit of a pause from both exercise and eating properly, yet with the crazed up party prep I still ended up losing weight. As of this week I am at 180 lbs. During the last two weeks or so I wouldn't remember to eat, so I was basically fed by Hassan. I didn't question the food choices, and they were good! Yes pizza, shawarma, carbs, fat and sugar all crept into my diet at one point or another.

This week it ends. Back to working out and eating healthy. So far I've been out on a 5k run on Monday and taught what will become my regular spin class until the end of September. Tomorrow I will go for another run. I was contemplating going to the gym but I was in the "no talking to people" zone, so I took advantage of the cool, albeit windy weather outside and ran to pounding music. Ahhhhh that feeling when you look like a weirdo grinning during a run....that was me yesterday. I have to come back for more. Tomorrow it is!

My little girl turned 4 last week. It's so surreal that I have a 4 year old preschooler. We threw a "Frozen" themed party, with 200 balloons, a dessert table and a winter wonderland cake. All made ready to order by yours truly. My darling Mommy was responsible for salad spread and boy did she rise to the occasion! It was amazing! Mom-in-law did some serious magic with the kebabs mix I prepared as well as cut up and marinated enough chicken to feed a small army. So grateful for those two women in my life! Hassan was the king of the barbecue grilling up a storm for dinner. It was such a wonderful day as Kiara was running around with her friends in her Elsa dress and a crown that was worn by Hassan's aunt at her wedding 22 years ago! Hoarding finally paid off!!! She was a star!  Hassan says I'm nuts (quite often at that) but I want my kids to remember their birthdays like I remember mine. My mom baked this amazing cake with 1000 buttery sugary layers and rich creamy icing and hand folded what seemed like a million perogies, grandma stylez! Then we unfolded our living room table, which of course was reserved for special occasions and family gatherings during holidays and my friends would give me books and make up as presents. I remember (I must have been turning 14 or 15) when I had boys at my party. What a huge deal that was!! And lots of giggling that was happening as they arrived. Such memories I will always treasure, no matter how silly they may sound! And as I became a mom myself, I finally understand the desire to make your child's day that much more special. Kiara could hardly contain herself as she asked the morning of her birthday if it was her birthday yet!! And then the gift from Mama and Papa, and then the cake waiting in the fridge complete with Elsa, Anna, and of course Olaf along a frozen river. That moment alone is worth every second of bleary eyed exhaustion. As I stopped for a second during the party and looked at the backyard filled with familiar faces who took time to join us I felt such happiness that we are blessed with such people in our lives. So, this is our most heartfelt Thank You! This birthday party was without a doubt one I will remember and amazing friends and family made it what it was...one for the books.  Countdown is on for the twins' first birthday. 

Alright, enough mushy stuff (or, as we like to call it, Cheese Factor 57). I think I've exhausted your attention at this point. So, I will play catch up this week and post updates as I go. Until then...

The First Ten

180.8 lbs. First ten pounds can suck it!!! That combined with some kickass progressive trance serving as soundtrack to this update puts me in a serious dance zone. That reminds me, who wants to rave with me (and Ilan Bluestone) at the Blues Fest this year??? 

I'll be honest, that number surprised me this morning. I didn't think I was going to see a drop. Hell, I was afraid I'd see a gain. I'm not going to analyse the stats, I'll take it and say "Thank you". The reason why I'm surprised is I had a completely hectic week (if you followed my update last week you know why) where I could only squeeze in a spin class on Wednesday. That was the only gym workout last week. The rest was the usual running after kids. Well and a whole lot of gardening happened this weekend. Sunday was no brakes from about 7am until I crashed out at around 11pm. The backyard is looking grand though, so totally worth the effort. Plus I can't complain about the chance to soak up some beautiful sunshine and fresh air. I think this week will serve as another lesson of what happens when I eat clean but maybe don't go so hard with workouts. I knew food was more important than exercise (still important though) but now I have proof. Wait, I said I wasn't going to analyse this didn't I? Ok, I'll stop.

Food highlights this weekend. Grilled sea bream cooked up on coals with cumin, garlic and lemon juice. Need I say more? I'll take that with my spinach salad A-NY-DAY!!! Oh and to celebrate our friends' recent engagement (and for that reason only!!!) I indulged in Crème brûlée and a glass of wine from Eighteen. It was....I don't have a word, let's just say I enjoyed it. There was also an opportunity to follow that up with strawberry mouse cake.....I am proud to say....I did no such thing! Congrats to Ali and beautiful Teresa!!! 

Tomorrow I will attempt to go for a run with Kiara in my BOB. I might have to sing the Dori (Finding Nemo) song. I find myself singing it to myself when a particular run, spin, step class gets too tough to handle. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming...." Works every time! :)

Moments

It's been a while since I've written. I'm in a bit of a haze and I'll explain why. I have a few things to cover today, and I'm wondering to myself what tone will this entry take considering the events on Monday. 

Kiara gave us all a scare on Monday morning when she slipped during a dance twirl and landed head first into the aluminium trim of my coffee table. I was in the kitchen and all I recall is a thud that froze my blood. The rest was a blur of moments, moments of panic, moments of action, moments of sheer raw terror. Thankfully Hassan had just left for work so while it took him about 5 minutes to get back home, every moment felt like a lifetime. She was whisked away to emergency (thank Heavens she'd stopped bleeding by then) and I had no other choice but to stay behind with the twins and just wait. And so, one complete breakdown, 4 hours and 10 stitches later I had my baby back in my arms in one piece. Truly I have never felt so helpless, so scared and so lost all at once in my life. Worst. Day. Ever! 

So suffice to say I haven't been quite myself that Monday. But back into somewhat normal again I will report that there was no weight lost last week. 182.7 lbs was what my trusty scale reported, but wait, I think there may have been a twist to that number.....

Backing up to Saturday afternoon. Wonderful Nadia stopped by with a bouquet of stunning flowers as an early Mother's Day treat for this mama. In the midst of my gushing about how gorgeous they are and how she shouldn't have she tells me "Shut up and listen to a proposal I have for you". Right away she says "I know you're gonna say "no", BUT!". Then proceeds to tell me that a bib became available for tomorrow's Sporting Life 10k race. Yeah right, where's the punchline!?!?! No joke, this girl is serious. I give Hassan a "save me" look for which I get told off by Nad. Long story short (is it too late for that?) I agree. Sunday, 10k, no big deal. I only trained for it never. I manage to finish the race in 1 hour and 7 minutes. Shocking myself to my socks that I was able to run it. Moments of triumph, gotta love those!! 

So what I'm getting at is that maybe the weight number hasn't moved because it was the morning after the race. Maybe it was due to water intake (I drank my body weight in water on Sunday). Maybe I've built up some muscle over the course of the month. In any case, Hassan tells me I look trimmer. And if you know Hassan you know he's not one to blow smoke up your ass about anything. So, starting next weigh in day (Monday) I'll also start charting measurements. I think It'll give me a more complete picture of what's happening. 

Moments of weakness. On Monday night, I had plain nothing left in my will power reserves. I couldn't stomach anything all day, so I was famished by 9pm. So I ate. I ate garlic bread, I ate rice pudding (Hassan makes an amazing warm vanilla kind!). But my plate was pretty healthy. Chicken Diavolo plate from La Cucina with roasted potatoes and grilled veggies. While I enjoyed the bread and the rice pudding, my body was pretty much shocked by an unexpected slap of refined carbs, fat and sugar. I paid for it the next day. Back to clean eating we go. But I do cherish those moments of indulgence. 

And that pretty much covers it. I'm contemplating which races to sign up for this coming season. Look out for that update once the plan is finalised. The addiction is real! The adrenaline, the rush, the race day atmosphere, those moments are hard to leave in the dust and never return to experience them again. So I'm back....thanks Nad! 

That Kinda Day

The workout that just refuses to gel. Everyone hits those every once in a while. Tonight was my turn. I was so pumped for the run. 45 minutes was my goal. But after the first 10 I knew I wasn't going anywhere near that number. So I pushed for 30 and literally threw in the towel. Heat? End of the week exhaustion? Super long walk with the kids this morning? Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty on the treadmill. I did hit my stride right at the end when a new track came on.....you know the one....the one that gives you real goosebumps. So I ended on a high note still, and that makes me happy. 45 min run will have to wait for inspiration to hit again. 

Food today was kind of grab and go, so a little hard to keep track of what happened. I was still conscious of what went in, the only trouble is I didn't take note of how much went in. Not feeling gross or bloated or overly full though, so maybe it wasn't so bad. Speaking of bloated, it has been my daily struggle. Hell, some days I looked like I was full on 6 months pregnant. I am ready to blame sugar, fat or carbs, but I'm not sure which one was the enemy exactly. Since I've started this, I don't remember complaining once about being bloated. Another plus, I'll take it with a smile.

I've read somewhere (can't recall) that a good test for figuring out whether or not a person ate too much at night is the morning hunger test. If a person wakes up feeling hungry in the morning, then it's all clear. If on the other hand you wake up and still feel like you've just left the table, well then maybe that plate was a little too full the night before. I've had those mornings, not fun! Have been waking up starving lately, so nothing to report there. 

Another revelation today (it's that kind of day). I took a really long walk with the kids to run some errands that were within walking distance. I decided to take advantage of this summer we've been having and take everyone for fresh air as well as get my legs moving. Heat and fresh air knocked the twins right out. They were literally passed out in the last position they sat! Kiara was fresh and just chatty as ever. And it hit me, as she's going on about the beautiful day, the dandelions, her birthday, her first year of school, that I have a workout buddy for life! I forgot I was pushing a heavy stroller on rolling hills as I found myself immersed in what that little person had to say. It is so amazing to see how every day things that are quite mundane to me are squeal worthy to her. Can't wait to be fit enough to toss her into my running stroller and see where conversation takes us (though she falls asleep in that stroller so maybe it'll be a chat free run with music instead). Time will tell, I will definitely write about that. 

About tonight's entry photo. Hassan has been on a crazy roll with his new food photography project. But don't take my word for it, check out hassanzaki.com\food and see for yourself. Warning, you will get hungry looking at the pics! Funniest thing that this was possibly the easiest recipe ever to make. Seriously, check out the RECIPES page, it couldn't be easier to fix that meal up. 5 ingredients, 30 min (depending on cooking time of potatoes). But let's talk about that in the recipe shall we? 

Small Sacrifice, Big Difference

182.4 lbs. Kind of hard to believe that I'm just 2 pounds away from those first coveted 10 pounds!! Am I supposed to look different? Feel different? I've done this weight loss thing before, but I can't quite remember at which point did I or those around me start to notice the changes. I definitely feel much "cleaner" on the inside. Ever since I stopped putting junk into my body, there's been a definite noticeable difference in my energy level. If someone had told me a month ago that I could go for a few days without coffee I'd laugh, yet it has happened. I mean let's not talk crazy here, I love my morning cup of coffee, but I find that I no longer need it to survive. 

Yesterday I managed to pull on pants (which I do NOT remember buying) that were actually not from maternity wear!! With a button and a zipper!! The size you ask?? Well....the size is not as important as the feel...blah blah blah...no it was 14....holy crap on a cracker! Concentrating on positive here though.....zipper!! I figure that will be my "success measuring" pair of pants. Stay tuned for that "swimming in what used to be snug" photo op! 

Another drastic change has been happening in my activity levels. I was expecting to start walking more with the kids now that the weather is beautiful out, and I do, a lot. But what's pleasantly surprising is that I haven't missed a day of a hard workout in about a week. I think I'll need one tomorrow though, days off are important. Although, if tomorrow is anything like today I might just need that kick in the ass sweat session to "unwind". That's all I have these days since wine is no longer a buddy of mine (more of a distant acquaintance) on whom I used to rely to chill out. That's another indulgence of mine that I've almost completely cut out......again, let's not talk crazy, it's not a breakup, it's a break :). 

So I think I'll stick to whatever I'm doing so far. It's been working pretty well. To be more specific: Workout like crazy, eat super clean (with an occasional cheat treat), walk (a lot) while pushing three kids in the stroller, no drinking calories, no mindless snacking. no (or very little) sugar and refined carbs. I think that summarises it.

Speaking of eating super clean, that wonderful tabouleh (with extra lemon just for Hani) recipe is coming up. I promise, you are this much closer to actually enjoying it rather than me telling you how amazing it is. Watch this space...

Sweet Tooth

Here's the truth.  I have a sweet tooth. Always have, always will. It's probably been my biggest pitfall in gaining weight....well at least in not losing it. So when I went cold turkey and cut sugar out of my food intake it felt good.....and then today happened. I caved, I had a sugary treat. Blueberry muffins be damned. Silver lining....I didn't gobble it up in one gulp. Although....since I'm on a truth telling kick here, if it weren't for the kids distracting me, I probably would have. So it was stretched over 3 hours. Now I know exactly why my will power failed me today. I did not eat anything at all up until about 12pm today. So when my girlfriend brought over the treat, it was game over. Had they not been starring at me from the counter and had I not been starving, oh and that sweet tooth I may have mentioned such unfaithfulness would not have taken place.

OK, water under the bridge. Work outs have been kicking ass this week (and this week is not over still) so I'm not feeling terribly guilty for that cheating move today. Taught two spin classes, took a killer step class. Tomorrow's plan is to get my butt in gear at 6am....yes that's right...Hassan can't believe it either. But with a jam packed weekend coming up, if I don't get out of bed at 6am, I won't fit in exercise. Plus I'll be more than likely guilt driven to burn off that muffin. 

Ah! How could I forget. Check out the first set of recipes.  There's now a "RECIPES" option in the top menu. Hope you enjoy some of the clean eating choices I've cooked up. Oh another one to add to the list were zucchini fritters I whipped up today! To die for yum!! Kids gobbled theirs up! Lips smacking and everything!     

Back in the Saddle

186.3 lbs. Not great but I'll take it. It's a loss so I can't really complain considering the week we had. 

Quick update. This week is going super well. Hit step class yesterday and taught my first spin class since bedrest last April. Cloud nine!!!! The happiness I feel when I'm turning those pedals is silly. I love it! Between those two classes legs are feeling the fatigue. Spin class tomorrow night to look forward to. Hopefully it will be just as dynamite as today's was. So exercise is back on track.

Food has been going well too. Since starting my clean eating habits I've had to get a lot more creative in the kitchen. I love arugula but man how much arugula can a girl eat for two weeks. So when Hassan noticed that I was picking my salad with the fork rather than eating it I knew I had to come up with a plan. So yesterday I roasted up a whole head of cabbage with carrots and mushrooms and today I made a salad that is quite possibly the most delicious salad I've ever eaten (thank you Nadia). Will be trying some "unstuffed" cabbage rolls with ground turkey later in the week for another healthy dinner fix. Absolutely no cheating so far this week.

 Time to rest those legs. Good night.  

Rollin wit it

There will be stellar weeks, good weeks, OK weeks and just plain WTF weeks. I think mine is falling close to the last option. It started out awesome (Tuesday post!) and then Nora woke us up on Tuesday night burning up and so sad. Sick kid, there's honestly no worst feeling in the world than when the well being of your little kiddo is out of your hands. Night one, 2 hours of choppy sleep. Wednesday, thank goodness Hassan took a day off otherwise.....I don't even know but thankfully I didn't have to find out. The exhaustion is real, the delirious state is no freakin joke, so no matter what was at the end of that finish line on Wednesday night (chocolate cake?!?!?!) I would not be crawling across to get it. Wednesday night was not much better, maybe 3 hours of choppy sleep and this time around no hubs to bail me out....he went to work....so he could get some sleep in the car after lunch (can you blame him!?!?! :) ) So although the rest of the week did improve, the energy level is at the all time low.

So other than yoga on Monday and that killer cycling session on Tuesday, I have nothing to add to my workout list. Awaiting that cycling session tomorrow. With that in mind, I am not entirely sure how much weight I will have dropped by the end of the week. It wouldn't surprise me if none at all, but hey, food's been good so no guilt there. In fact I've been so faithful to my diet that this morning, when the lady at Starbucks sold me a blueberry muffin through no fault of my own (hehe) I found it over-the-top sweet. And I've only been sugar free (well sugar-less-than-usual) for 2 weeks. Incredible how quickly body readjusts. Kiara polished off the rest of that muffin, because truly it felt like dessert rather than breakfast (it was gooooooood though). 

The pic for today's entry did not come easy. Maybe this whole week is just cursed. Hassan struggled and struggled with that damn Caprese salad (YUM!!!!).  If you know Hassan, you know that words "I'm about to give up" don't come easy or very often. I both love and hate him for that stubbornness (he's currently piping in "It's called perseverance"). I however am as impressed as ever with the final result. I am talking about the photograph, although the salad was delicious as well.  

Today was busy/hectic/crazed up with more things to do on top of the usual weekend frenzy, so by 8pm as Hassan asked me if he should fix me up a salad to go with shrimp I looked at him and said "Screw it, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm impatient!" so rice it was. 

Ah well, at the end of it, I've been in this "mom game" long enough to learn to just go with what life gives you........I'm not great at it, but I hear practice makes perfect :)

Sweat is Sexy

Today! Today is the first day I remembered why I was once addicted to exercise. The high is indescribable. It took a solid week to get to that point where I'm no longer in misery, I'm in a grind! The difference? Misery - "God I hate this, why the crap did I sit my ass down on this bike??" Grind - "God I hate this, but hell will freeze over before I back off that load!! Grrrrrr"

The latter are the kind of thoughts going through my head as I'm pedaling away (while staying in one place) tonight. I love the feeling when that drop of sweat is forming on my chin. To me, this is the second gear, the confirmation that I'm working hard. So I can't help but break into a grin, making that drop fall, feeling almost silly at how victorious it makes me feel.  

Today I've decided that it's time to go back to teaching spin at Goodlife. If you're in Hazeldean area on Tuesday April 28th at 6:30pm and Wednesday April 29th at 7:30pm you will get to sweat it out with yours truly! And you all know that sweat is sexy so why wouldn't you come spin with me? As I put it out there that I'm available for subbing for other instructors I've gotten offers! Exciting, but scary. Am I ready? Am I fit enough? Do I still have the stamina to motivate my class as I'm working up that sexy sweat myself? As I'm mulling those questions over I get an email from my beautiful Nadia saying "You realise it's a new release next week right?" Uhm...no I did not realise that.....I did not realise that at all!! But at this point, I'm thinking what the hell, gotta come back to this someday, might as well be the new set of music! Another plus is that I don't have to think about putting my own mix together, just learn the new tracks! I don't even wanna know how intrigued you are to find out if I will rise to the occasion! Well....now you just have to come to my class so you can see it for yourself :) 

Exciting food adventures today? I made tabouleh for the first time. How can a salad be so delicious!?!?!?! I went back for seconds in a happy guilt free spirit! One more recipe to definitely share. 

Ok, good night, it's way too late but I just had to share because this is how I am feeling right now, this is how I'm feeling today! 

Shabang!!!

187 lbs. It's a small victory that weighs 3.5 pounds but I did a happy dance as I hopped off the scale this morning. I like that it's more than my goal, I was shooting for 2 pounds. However I am happy that it's not 10 pounds, because then I would have questioned my methods. In this race, slow and steady will win it. I'm in this for at least 6 months, so not rushing, just as long as the numbers are decreasing I'm good.  I'm willing to bet that the last pound alone came from that "stroll" with Jennie downtown! Damn that girl can walk! And those three kids are heavy!!! And that uphill....well I think I've painted the picture. 

As I am writing this, my ever supporting husband is baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies with Kiara. The house smells phenomenal. It's really hard to hate him though, they look so darn adorable making cookie dough balls. Good thing I had my chocolate fix this evening in a form of a dark chocolate square. No damage impeding. 

Breakfast smoothie this morning was banana peanut butter. It was great! Another one to add to my recipe book. Speaking of recipe book a recipe page to be added to this website is in the works. I'm working with Hassan so that he can take pictures of the recipes. So, watch this space...

If you're interested to see what my approximate meal plan looks like for this week, find it jotted down below. If you're not, well I guess I'll see you back here soon...off for some om

---

Monday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack fruit mix 
         Lunch veggies+shrimp 
         Snack rest of the smoothie
         Dinner green beans+veal in tomato sauce + quinoa. Square of dark chocolate for dessert  
        Exercise yoga 
Tuesday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack apple slices with peanut butter
         Lunch cereal with bananas 
         Snack dried fruit  
         Dinner grilled stuff with tabouleh  
        Exercise cycle 
Wednesday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack pita with hummus  
         Lunch turkey+cheese sammy+soup
         Snack granola with a glass of milk 
         Dinner fish with arugula salad 
        Exercise strength 
Thursday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack cheese and crackers 
         Lunch avocado tuna melt with salad
         Snack snap peas   
         Dinner grilled stuff with soup 
        Exercise run 
Friday 
         Breakfast smoothie 
         Snack pears with peanut butter 
         Lunch grilled chicken kale salad 
         Snack nuts 
         Dinner out 
        Exercise stretch + easy walk 

Changes

I realise it's been a couple of days, but I gotta tell you, in my house it's either blog or exercise. So I chose to exercise, otherwise I wouldn't have anything to blog about. Tonight I'm writing a little update on the week so far. Body is super sore, which is an awesome indication that I've beaten it up and broken it in just a touch. It's a start, which is always the hardest part.  

Changes - the ones that I've made are pretty drastic and they happened quite abruptly. However, the reaction from my mind and body is very positive. My friend Jennie dropped in for a visit and as we're chatting/chasing after kids she says "You look like you have more energy!" And it just hit me.....I've only had one cup of coffee today and yet I'm feeling perky and refreshed. What??

Changes - sugar became virtually non-existent in my diet. Weird thing....I don't miss it! Well....I don't miss it much. I'll always have a sweet tooth. Another thing I've said "so long" to is refined carbs. This was a tricky one. I had to dig deep into my cupboards and deeper still  into my creative reserves figuring out what to add as a side to my grilled chicken. Choices so far (yummy choices at that): quinoa, red split lentils, salad, mixed steamed veggies and an awesome potato/cauliflower/broccoli/carrot mash (courtesy of Hassan). Side note - he was making baby food! It was delicious! Tonight was a special treat of take out Thai food, so I had rice.....worth it! 

Changes - I've finally jumped on the smoothie bandwagon. I know I'm super late to the party, but hey, at least I showed up and catching up on the ongoing fun. Made this super delicious berry breakfast smoothie (recipe coming very soon). It kept me going all morning. Had another helping as the kids were playing at the park and that got me right through to my afternoon snack. I'm not going to make skipping meals a habit, however, it's nice to know that on days like today (completely hectic in a wonderful "warm summer day" way) I can rely on this magic potion. What I will make a habit is making those quick easy amazing mixes to drink in the car on the way to work. Who knows, caffeine may just become a distant memory (HA! yeah ok easy there).

My photographer (Hassan Zaki) is finally getting his priorities straight and actually doing what he was hired to do! I should demand my deposit back though, such delay is unacceptable ;) Look out for more off the hook photo plugs throughout, but alas, as always, there that "notice" but I digress...

Changes - in my life, every spare second is a precious second. So we've learnt to be pretty darn efficient with what little time we get. As Kiara was kicking butt in karate class I jotted down next week's meal plan. It's a meal plan, grocery list and exercise schedule in one memo (see? efficient!). 

Changes - regarding moving my ass....not literally. In addition to what I've mentioned in my previous post I've added a 20 min run. I had to break it down into 10 min run 5 min walk 10 min run chunks. It resulted in extremely sore obliques. As well as a strength training session. So with two more days till the end of the week I've got the exercise part of the plan covered. Giving the body a small break tonight from the shock. 

And so, as this week expires, I am thinking "Dammit, that scale had better move come Monday morning!"  

Setting Goals

190.5 lb. Feeling strangely unaffected by that number. Simply looks like it's a long road ahead. Gotta find my Fitbit. Week one is officially underway. My aim is to drop 1.5 to 2 pounds per week. Goal weight likely will fall somewhere between 135 and 140 lbs. I'm not chasing a number really but rather a "feel good" vibe. Here's the scoop so far.

Exercise: Walking/running/chasing after kids. Yup, I'm counting that. My neighbour Melissa saw today what happens when the twins crawl in two different directions...outside....fast (Kenzie with a mouthful of grass), while Kiara is riding a bike....heading for the street. 30 min spin on my bike that left me jelly-legged. Gotta tune my bike, it's squeaky (yes it's been a while)! 

Food: It's day 2 today and I've been "good". No major cheating other than finishing up some buttery toast (and some other little dinner leftovers) off Kiara's plate (Come on! it's a waste! :) ). In my defence, it was 21 grain toast. I'll see next week if I'll have to put an end to that too. For all of you nerds out there I'm using this week as a feedback loop situation. I evaluate at the end and adjust for next week. I also cut out sugar and milk out of my tea and coffee. Ok fine, I ran out of the low fat milk today so I indulged in whole in my cereal this morning. Guilt took over though, so let's just say that cereal was rather crunchy :).  

Doesn't look like I'll be able to get my ass in gear for a workout this evening. Tomorrow's plan is a run outside. When I say a run though, I'm using the term loosely. F bombs will be dropped. Ok, gotta catch up on some TV shows now.... 

P.S. Photo for the entry pending.....apparently my photographer needs a "couple of days" lead time *eye roll*. Waiting for that inspiration then....you can't rush art.